When
we’d left off, the Israelites were in the land of Moab, after completely wiping
out four other kingdoms. We’d had a humorous interlude with a donkey, and a
story about princes trying to bribe a diviner to curse the Israelites, only to
have God use that diviner to sing their praises instead. Today, we get into a
few entertaining details about Israelite life in Moab.
Seems
they kinda settled down a bit near Peor, and some of them even started getting
friendly with the locals. Some of them even met some local girls they liked and
started to intermarry (or, as the Bible likes to describe it, they “began to
whore after the daughters of Moab”). And some of them even started going to the
locals’ religious observances to their god, Baal. Bet you know what’s coming…
well, in the general sense – the specifics may be surprising.
God gets
angry at the people over this, and orders Moses to have the chiefs hang any of
their people who attended Baal’s services. And of course, that’s what they do.
And then we proceed to this charming story:
“Num 25:6 And behold, one of the
people of Israel came and brought a Midianite woman to his family, in the sight
of Moses and in the sight of the whole congregation, while they were weeping in
the entrance of the tent of meeting. 7 When Phinehas the son of Eleazar, son of
Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose and left the congregation and took a spear in
his hand 8 and went after the man of Israel into the chamber and pierced both
of them, the man of Israel and the woman through her belly. Thus the plague on
the people of Israel was stopped. 9 Nevertheless, those who died by the plague
were twenty-four thousand.”
God is
vastly impressed with Phinehas’ demonstration of devotion, and takes Moses
aside to tell him that Phinehas has earned a perpetual priesthood for himself
and all of his descendants. So if you have any questions as to what the
Biblical view is on marrying outside the faith, let’s recap the story here. A
man marries a woman of a different faith. Phinehas breaks into this man’s home
and murders both the man and his wife while they’re in the act of making love, and God says Phinehas is the hero of this
story.
Can
anyone think of any other circumstance where a man who murders people in their
beds is considered a hero?
Oh, and
from a storytelling perspective, that plague that Phinehas’ murder stopped in
its tracks? It was never mentioned until we’re told that his murder stopped it.
So there’s that.
Afterwards,
God also orders Moses to harass and kill the Midianites for trying to beguile
the Israelites.
Now,
content aside, things are really rolling here. We’ve had wars, mass human
sacrifices, comedic asides with talking donkeys, dire prophecies, sex, and
murder. Now God has just issued a war order. We have some serious momentum, and
I’m on pins and needles to see what’s going to happen next…
Aw,
fuck, it’s another census.
The
Bible then takes forty-six mind-numbing verses to deliver the following census
results:
Reubenites:
43,730
Simeonites:
22,200
Gadites:
40,500
Judahites:
76,500
Issacharites:
64,300
Zebulunites:
60,500
Josephites:
52,700
Ephraimites:
32,500
Benjaminites:
45,600
Danites:
64,400
Asherites:
53,400
Naphtalites:
45,400
Total:
601,730
God then
tells Moses that when they get to the promised land, the land will be divided
among the tribes according to their sizes, which they will then divide up among
their people by lot.
Then the
Levites get listed separately, at 23,000, and we’re told again that they will
not get a land division for inheritance.
At this
point it is stated that, except for Joshua and Caleb, none of the people
counted in this census were left from the census conducted at Sinai, because
that entire generation has died out. This is the first hint we get that a
substantial amount of time has passed. In fact, by implication, it’s now been
forty years since God forced the Israelites to start wandering in the
wilderness because they rebelled after the spies returned from Canaan.
Moses
then gets approached by the daughters of some guy named Zelophehad. It seems
that Zipperhead died without any sons, only daughters, and they wanted to know
if their family would be getting a land allotment. So Moses checked with God,
who told him that yes, they would receive one, and furthermore went on to say
that it would now be a statute that if a man died without any sons to inherit,
his daughters would be next in line to inherit, followed by other male
relatives (brothers, fathers, etc.).
Next,
God tells Moses to up on the mountain of Abarim, where he could view the land
he had promised Israel, and then die (recall that Moses was told that he would
not be allowed to enter the land – God is just giving him a glimpse before he
dies). Moses asks God to appoint a successor for him to lead the people, and
God picks Moses’ longtime assistant Joshua (what a coincidence!). This is the
same Joshua who was among the people sent to spy out Canaan forty years
earlier, and who spoke up in favor of relying on God and invading at that time.
He’s
instructed to take Joshua and stand him up in front of the people and the
priests to invest his authority in him. Oddly enough, he’s instructed to have
the priests consult the judgment of the Urim (I had to look it up – they’re
divination tools) about Joshua before God. Why the heck would they need to do
that, if they have God standing right there to tell them anything they might
need to know? It seems like a ridiculous instruction.
But
anyway, Moses then goes through this little ceremony to designate his successor.
But he isn’t actually going off to die yet; there’s more stuff to get to first.
But this post has gone on long enough for today, so we’ll get to it next time.
Hope you all remain well until then!
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