Welcome
once again to the First Book of Samuel. When we last left off, Saul had just
been informed that God would be replacing him as king because Saul made some
sacrificial offerings on his own instead of waiting for Samuel to do it.
Meanwhile, a large force of Philistines has invaded Israel.
Apparently,
Saul isn’t getting replaced right away, so he returns to the business of
kicking some Philistine ass. We’re told that this is complicated by the fact
that, other than Saul and his son Jonathan, no other soldier in their army owns
a sword or spear (in spite of their excessively warlike recent history) because
the Philistines don’t permit there to be any Israelite blacksmiths.
So at
one point in the campaign Saul and Jonathan are joined up, but with only about
600 men with them. Most of the other Israelites are fighting elsewhere or just
hiding out. So one night Jonathan tells his armor bearer that the two of them
are going to sneak out of camp all on their own to go attack the Philistines on
the chance that maybe God will grant them a victory. Said armor bearer jumps on
this plan without a qualm, and off they go. Jonathan then further elaborates
that they’re just gonna walk up to the Philistine guards. If the guards tell
them to halt and not approach the camp, that means that God isn’t going to let
Jonathan defeat them and they should stop approaching. But if the guards
challenge them, then tell them to approach, that must mean God intends to grant
Jonathan the victory.
Is the
idea here that God told Jonathan this would happen, or did Jonathan just make
this shit up in the hopes that God would run with it? Also, since the guards do
indeed tell them to approach, and they do indeed kick a great deal of
Philistine ass, does that mean that God made the guard tell Jonathan to
approach, or he just knew that’s what they would do and told Jonathan about it?
None of this is explained at all.
Anyhow,
Jonathan and his armor bearer walk up to the guards and start beating ass on a
wholesale basis. They kill twenty men right off, and this throws the whole
Philistine camp into a panic.
Saul’s
scouts notice the brouhaha in the Philistine camp, and report the news back to
the king. After a quick survey of their own camp reveals that Jonathan and his
armor bearer are missing, Saul rounds up his men to go join in the attack. They
find the Philistines in such a state that they are actually killing each other
(and unless you think it’s reasonable to believe an entire army was so freaked
out by an attack from two people that they start killing each other, this would
seem to be yet another example of God robbing people of their free will).
Then
Saul, for no discernible reason, makes an oath to God that none of his people
will eat anything for the rest of the day while they’re busy slaughtering
Philistines. So of course, the people start getting fatigued. Meanwhile
Jonathan alone among all the people hasn’t heard about this oath, and takes a
taste of honey he finds as they’re moving through a forest. Then there’s a
confusingly written series of events where Jonathan’s unwitting breakage of
Saul’s oath somehow leads to other Israelites breaking Mosaic dietary
restrictions against eating blood, and Saul finding out about it being
Jonathan’s fault by casting lots (there seems to be a lot of examples of God
communicating his desires by having people cast lots, in spite of the fact that
divination is itself a practice God forbids). Saul declares that he must kill
Jonathan for his sin, but the people ransom Jonathan’s life.
Anyhow,
all that nonsense brought their pursuit of the Philistines to a halt, and so
the survivors escaped.
Some
unspecified amount of time later, Samuel approaches Saul with new marching
orders from God. He’s been ordered to attack the Amalekites in retribution for
them having attacked the people of Israel when they were escaping from Egypt. And
of course the terms of this retribution to be inflicted on the Amalekites for
the offense committed by their several-generations-removed ancestors should
have a familiar tone.
“1 Sam 15:3 Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all
that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and
infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.”
Oh look,
another divinely ordered genocide, complete with an explicit infanticide
mandate. And a little quick research comes up with the fact that the event for
which this is retribution occurred approximately 350 years prior. That is some
hardcore grudge holding, right there! Three-and-a-half centuries, and God still
has such a revenge hard-on for the Amalekites that even the sheep have to die!
So Saul
gathers up an army of two hundred thousand men, and heads out to slaughter the
Amalekites. Except that when it was all over, he kept their king alive as a
prisoner, and his men kept the best of the livestock rather than slaughtering
all of them. You just know God’s not gonna be happy about the idea of fewer
deaths than he demanded, and sure enough he makes his displeasure known… to
Samuel.
“1 Sam 15:10 And the word of Yahweh came to Samuel: 11 ‘I regret that I have made Saul
king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my
commandments.’ And Samuel was angry, and he cried to Yahweh all night.”
Regret,
huh? Isn’t that something you feel when you’ve made a mistake?
Moving
on, Samuel goes out to meet Saul on his triumphant return. And Saul is quite
pleased with himself for his successful campaign, but Samuel just demands to
know why they have all this livestock with them that was supposed to be
destroyed. Saul replies that the people wanted to bring the best livestock back
to sacrifice as an offering to God, but Samuel puts the brakes on the
explanation. He then goes on a rant that can be summarized as follows: “Sure,
God loves a good sacrifice, but the most important thing to him is
unquestioning, unthinking, and absolute obedience.”
It may
be worth pointing out that God never spoke directly to Saul, but delivered his
orders through Samuel. So to any outside observer, it would seem that what
Samuel is demanding is absolute obedience to Samuel. But whatever. Samuel now
informs Saul that because of his disobedience, God no longer wants him to be
king and is going to choose someone else.
The
encounter closes out with Samuel having the Amalekite king, Agag, brought to
him. Agag is pretty cheerful, no doubt believing that as a king he will be
spared and perhaps ransomed. Samuel quickly dispels that notion by hacking him
to pieces with a sword.
Well, I
think that’s quite enough for today. And anyway, the Bible is about to introduce
an important new character. So we’ll leave off for now and pick up next time
with the introduction of David. Until then, y’all be well!
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