Anyway, when last we left off,
Solomon was advising (among other things) that going to prostitutes is an
acceptable way to avoid adultery. And then there are several chapters of long
soliloquys about wisdom again, once more personifying it as a woman. These seem
even more explicitly to be treating wisdom as a goddess than the previous ones.
For example:
“Prov 9:1 Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn her seven
pillars. 2 She has slaughtered her
beasts; she has mixed her wind; she has also set her table. 3 She has sent out her young women to
call from the highest places in the town, 4
“Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!” To him who lacks sense she says, 5 “Come, eat of my bread and drink the
wine I have mixed. 6 Leave your
simple ways and live, and walk in the way of insight.”
That sounds an awful lot like
describing a goddess with her own temples, offerings, and priesthood, doesn’t
it?
Anyway, once we get to Chapter 10,
we hit the main thrust of Proverbs: the actual proverbs, which will pretty much
occupy all but the last two Chapters of the book. If you want to get an idea
what it’s like, well, try to imagine that someone opened a couple hundred
fortune cookies and taped the fortunes down into the pages of a book. Complete
with the occasional baffling mistranslation.
The vast majority of the proverbs
are simple pithy sayings taking up only a single verse, usually in the form of
“X does/is like Y, but A does/is like B.” Usually these are written by way of
contrasting some form of good or wise behavior with some form of bad or unwise
behavior. Let me just pick a representative excerpt to kind of give you the
general idea.
“Prov 10:4 A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent
makes rich. 5 He who gathers in
summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings
shame. 6 Blessings are on the head
of the righteous, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. 7 The memory of the righteous is a
blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot. 8 The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool
will come to ruin. 9 Whoever walks
in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found
out. 10 Whoever winks the eye causes
trouble, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.”
That’s just a little sample. And
really, you could open Proverbs anywhere from the start of Chapter 10 to the
end of Chapter 29 and read pretty much the same thing. The details vary, but
not as much as you might think; like Psalms, there are a limited number of
themes and a good deal of redundancy. But Proverbs is vastly more readable, so
I was actually able to read through all the way to the end.
The general themes are: Laziness is
bad, adultery is bad (and generally a woman’s fault), fools are awful people
who deserve to be beaten, wives who talk back are just about the worst thing in
the world, don’t fuck with kings, good things happen to the righteous and bad things
happen to the wicked (contradicting Job), honesty is good, fear God, yadda
yadda yadda. There are so many proverbs, really, that any attempt to
encapsulate them all would be fruitless. I suggest just reading them yourself.
None appear particularly insightful, but I suppose that it’s just possible
that, for the time in which they were written, they might have been revelatory
grains of wisdom. But given the two-line compare and contrast format, each
individual proverbs couldn’t have been anything other than shallow sayings
anyway. Most just seem like “everybody knows this” kinds of things, but maybe
we only know them because they were written down here. Who knows?
But then there are some whose
inclusion is just baffling. Such as…
“Prov 12:17 Whoever speaks the
truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness utters deceit.”
Yes, Solomon, thank you for telling
us the definitions of “speaks the truth,” and “false witness.” Or maybe you
were going meta and decided to define “tautology” for us? This needed to be
written down? And how about…
“Prov 12:19 Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but
for a moment.”
This is one of those proverbs, of
which there are quite a number, that seem to be more in the realm of wishful
thinking rather than insightful observations on reality. I also find it
immensely ironic that it should be included in the pages of one of the most
enduring lies of all time.
“Prov 13:19 A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but to turn
away from evil is an abomination to fools.”
Can anyone tell me what the second
clause of that proverb has to do with the first? Maybe it’s being a bit
pedantic of me, but this kind of sentence construction is generally supposed to
be used to draw a contrast between related concepts. The concepts in this
sentence have nothing to do with each other. There are several proverbs that do
this.
“Prov 14:1 The wisest of women builds her house, but the folly of
her own hand tears it down.”
Is this meant to suggest that even
the wisest women are so foolish that they inevitably destroy what they work
for? More sexist bullshit?
“Prov 14:5 A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness
breathes out lies.”
Yes, Solomon was so impressed with
his earlier tautology that he had to repeat it. See what I mean about
redundancy?
“Prov 15:10 An oracle is on the lips of a king; his mouth does not
sin in judgment.”
The king is always right? How
convenient for Solomon, given that he was a king and all. Surely this proverb
could only have been pure in motivation. In the verses that follow it, there
are several proverbs reinforcing the notion that kings are inherently wise and
just, and should be obeyed and/or appeased.
Anyway, this goes on and on through
Chapter 29. Chapters 30 and 31, the last of the book, purport to be the words
of different people.
Chapter 30 opens by identifying
itself as “the words of Agur, son of Jakeh, the oracle.” It also seems to be a
collection of sayings, though in a different format than those attributed to
Solomon. Agur doesn’t restrict himself to single pithy compare/contrast verses,
often taking several verses to make a point. Here’s a small sample of the fare:
“Prov 30:20 This is the way of the adulteress: she eats and wipes
her mouth and says, “I have done no wrong.” 21 Under three things the earth trembles; under four it cannot bear
up: 22 a slave when he becomes king,
and a fool when he is filed with food; an unloved woman when she gets a
husband, and a maidservant when she displaces her mistress.”
As you can see, Agur continues the
trend of treating adultery as a female-initiated thing.
That construction of “X is like Y,
X+1 is like something similar to Y,” followed by a list of X+1 things, is
repeated often throughout this section. It seems to be some kind of poetic
convention, as I’ve seen it once or twice in the Bible before this. But Agur
makes use of it far more than any of the other authors I’ve encountered thus
far.
Anyway, it’s just one chapter and,
like the rest of Proverbs, combines some insightful sayings with a mixture of
gibberish and biased judgment.
The final chapter of Proverbs
introduces itself as “The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother
taught him.” Wouldn’t that mean it’s actually the words of Lemuel’s mother, and
in the typical casual sexism of the Bible Lemuel is just taking credit? By the
way… King Lemuel is never mentioned anywhere else. Nobody seems to know for
sure who he is. One theory is that Lemuel is just another name for Solomon,
which would make the true author of these words Bathsheba. But whatever.
The Chapter starts out with several
verses admonishing the king to not give power to women, and to stand up for the
rights of the poor and needy. There’s also a bit in there about refraining from
strong drink for himself, but rather to give it to the poor so they can drown
their sorrows. It’s a weird mix of healthy and unhealthy advice.
From there it continues into
discussing the wondrous virtues of a good wife. It’s a tad sexist, as might be
expected, but many of the values it expresses (industriousness, generosity,
kindness, providing for one’s family, etc.) are fairly laudable. It’s the only
extended portion of the Book of Proverbs that lauds virtues without also
condemning everyone who falls short of them.
But now I have to single out a weird
translation nitpick:
“Prov 31:21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her
household are clothed in scarlet.”
OK, that doesn’t make a lot of
sense, now, does it? There’s no reason red clothing would ward off snow better
than any other color. But this line has a footnote attached to it, and if you
follow the footnote it informs you that the line can also be translated as “clothed
in double thickness.” What the fuck, translators? Given the choice between “scarlet,”
and “double thickness,” as a description of clothing that would ward off fear
of snow, you went with “scarlet” as your primary translation? In what way does
that make any fucking sense whatsoever?! No cookie for you!
Deep breath.
So anyway, that gets us to the end
of Proverbs. It was actually a fairly interesting read, and there’s some good
stuff to be gleaned from it. Though I must admit that it falls far short of
what I might expect of the writings of the wisest man who ever lived. It makes
a lot of assertions about how people ought to behave, but its reliance on
two-line fortune cookie style platitudes and/or weird poetic conventions means
it rarely provides reasons behind the advice it gives. Rather, it leans heavily
on simply insulting anyone who might reject any of the advice and occasionally recommending
violence against them.
Next up: Ecclesiastes. It’s a short
book, so if we’re lucky we can toss it off in a single post. Until then, y’all
be well!
